I Make Fun Of Titles

I submitted a story to a magazine called "Big Pulp." They have a page of all the submissions they have received, as well as their current status (pending).

I've taken this opportunity to give a fake synopsis of some of the stories which I haven't read:

1. Face Stealer by William Levinson - In a world where only the rich can afford a face, one man is on a mission to find a face for himself and his family by any means necessary. His name is Bill Levinson, and his journey takes him to the edge of peril in the quest to find a face. Face Stealer is a story of yearning, and of a man's desperate search for identity in a faceless world.

2. Hate is a Relative Reason for Revenge by Chester Fid* - If you ever wanted to read a classic example of the story that reveals more about its author than its characters, you've picked the right one. Replete with overly-specific descriptions of the characters' mothers and sewing in between a third-person narrator seeking vengeance on an older woman and a first-person narrator viciously describing his resentment of his overprotective Catholic upbringing, one thing is certain: Mr. Fid's story has the ring of truth.

3. Eyeblight by Berrigan Cortes - A growing disease. A madman in the White House. A single mother who finds a connection. But can she survive long enough not only to reveal the nefarious source of the blinding disease BUT ALSO DRIVE HER DAUGHTER TO SWIM PRACTICE? You be the judge/find out in Eyeblight.

4. Bigfoot: Digital Evidence Revealed in 3D by Michael Clark - In this tale of terror, master suspenseman Michael Clark makes us wonder-- it what way will the author, using only the printed page, make three-dimensional evidence of Bigfoot at all satisfying? And why is digital evidence preferable to or more conclusive than other forms of evidence, such as physical evidence? Half-truths and technical non-lies abound in Bigfoot: Digital Evidence Revealed in 3D.

More Funny Business
*It's really Chester Fid. I swear to God that's what it says.