I Make Fun Of Titles

I submitted a story to a magazine called "Big Pulp." They have a page of all the submissions they have received, as well as their current status (pending).

I've taken this opportunity to give a fake synopsis of some of the stories which I haven't read:

1. Face Stealer by William Levinson - In a world where only the rich can afford a face, one man is on a mission to find a face for himself and his family by any means necessary. His name is Bill "Buck" Levinson, and his journey takes him to the edge of peril in the quest to find a face. Face Stealer is a story of yearning, and of a man's desperate search for identity in a faceless world.

2. Hate is a Relative Reason for Revenge by Chester Fid - If you ever wanted to read a classic example of the story that reveals more about its author than its characters, you've picked the right one. Replete with overly-specific descriptions of the characters' mothers and sewing in between a third-person narrator seeking vengeance on an older woman and a first-person narrator viciously describing his resentment of his overprotective Catholic upbringing, one thing is certain: Mr. Fid's story has the ring of truth.

3. Eyeblight by Berrigan Cortes - A growing disease. A madman in the White House. A single mother who finds a connection. But can she survive long enough not only to reveal the nefarious source of the blinding disease BUT ALSO DRIVE HER DAUGHTER TO SWIM PRACTICE? You be the judge/find out in Eyeblight.

4. Bigfoot: Digital Evidence Revealed in 3D by Michael Clark - In this tale of terror, master suspenseman Michael Clark makes us wonder-- in what way will the author, using only the printed page, make three-dimensional evidence of Bigfoot at all satisfying? And why is digital evidence preferable to or more conclusive than other forms of evidence, such as physical evidence? Half-truths and technical non-lies abound in Bigfoot: Digital Evidence Revealed in 3D.

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