Online Cake Taster

Great, now that we're all here, let's begin. We have a great deal of variously manifesting and hexadecimally numbered flavors and scents for your eyeballs to taste etc. Firstly, please attempt these icings:

This icing would be ideal to slather on a cake for a sea-themed wedding. Picture it: you could colonize the top with one of those atmospheric diving suit men and a mermaid with a trident. Incidentally we offer a sugarless cake whose recipe calls for salt instead.

Accidentally pouring milk into your green tea and annihilating all the excruciatingly gentle and delicate notes happens to all of us: with baddad, commemorate and enshrine the twitch you feel at this realization when you look upon the icing that captures the exact shade and flavor of accidentally milked-out green tea.

And speaking of fluids, the icing called c0ffee tastes nothing like its spelling and everything like its color: like a mouthful of mist under an arch of oak leaves. Now, if you could just sign here to confirm that it was explained very clearly to you what this icing's flavor is and what it is not, we can move on...

deafc0d is our vellum-colored offering this season, but I would personally like to assure you that all of our icings are entirely vegetarian except c0ffee. This one particularly has a sort of hardened cherry glacÚ flavor that you can hear your teeth clink against if you clink it against your teeth on your special day.

fabdad is called in the swatch industry panther-mouth pink, although if you asked my glassy old eyes they'd tell you it's more of a salmon color. On the other hand, you're going to have a seriously difficult time convincing me that no panther in history has ever eaten a salmon.

What? Oh, kind of rhubarby, I guess.

Now we come to the four layer-fillings, of which you may choose four:

8feed8 is a lot like 1dead1 but it's a little more brackish and gets choppier. This filling provides the greatest quantity of nutrition in terms of whatever nutrients are in seaweed. If you've ever breathed deeply on a clear spring day on a big damn boat your nose has tasted 8feed8.

Look at an amoeba through a microscope and see its color: order a cake filled with badfad and taste its plasm.

As children we would often stroll through the meadows that interrupted the woods around our house. One winter we cautiously followed a deer to a meadow we hadn't found before. It fell to the ground and was buried in snow. In the spring we returned to the meadow, and on the spot where the deer had fallen down sprouted a heap of nameless flowers the very color of this layer-filling.

No, we don't normally like to reveal the name of this filling, but as your wedding is on Halloween we figure you might find the name bedead more appropriate than its more perennial swatch industry name, corpse-tooth green. Imagine spearmint and then cold glass. Try imagining them back and forth as fast as you can and you'll probably get the right sensation.

And speaking of flowers, don't forget flowers! All three are made entirely of big glops of perfectly eye-edible MS Paint. You may pick only one. Perhaps you should study them from afar.

"Orchid"

We tie all the orchids together until they're as symmetrical as they are fragrant. This particular orchid is called the French Swamp Sniffing Gem, and can be placed upon the pinnacle of your cake considering that last time I checked this was a free country.

"Snapdragon"

The snapdragons we offer are fully dirt- and insect-free, but their roots are like antlers that can bore through wood. I should inform you about a substantial discount: the snapdragons we offer are not symmetrical and are thus diminished in aesthetic and monetary value.

"Coffee Flower"

We unfortunately placed the coffee flowers under a great pane of stained glass behind a pointy gate but you can still make them out sort of. Just kind of squint, you'll see them. Either way our lifting employees will lift the entire pane and put it somewhere on your wedding.

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