I Hate All Lists

A wise man once said, ďI donít wanna go to school / I donít wanna go to school / I havenít done my work / I havenít done my work.Ē I guess that sounds right.

I have a really good idea for a story about a bird but I canít say what it is. The last time I had a good idea about cordyceps growing on people I told too many jerks about it and someone for whom it is possible to publish stories stole it and published it because he knows that publishers have boycotted me. Iím not sure how he found out about it, probably the CIA. Anyway Iím not telling anyone else about anything I write until itís in a book. Trade secrets.

I donít have anything to update about, I just noticed that my last thirty posts were all some kind of list so I figured Iíd say something. Iím in a fake band called James Fecundler & the Army Bundlers. In a live show we put a contact microphone inside of a loaf of bread and cut it to evoke fear and dread. Iím James Fecundler.

I donít know how to make more people come to my website, so I guess Iíll put a bunch of pictures on it because Iíve accepted that people hate reading and hate me and would rather masturbate to pictures of ghosts than read one word I've written concerning the same:

Ghosts are circled in red:

I love Lucy and she loves me! We are as happy as two can be!

This photograph was taken in the Romanian town of Ploiesti in 2011.

Sometimes we quarrel but then, ha ha haÖ How we love making up again!

This one was too.

Lucy kisses like no one can! She is my Mrs. and I am her man!

I took all of these photographs last night with a telephoto lens.

Our life is heaven you see, cause I love Lucy, yes, I love Lucy, and Lucy loves me!

So there, I put all the ghost pictures you were whining at me about up. I caved in to your constant attacks, I feel your bleeding claws in my back. Iím just kidding. Nobody asked for ghosts. Anyway the Daily Doofus disdains pornography of all kinds unless itís a ghost.

If you spell the letter ĎWí with a ĎDí like I do, the name of my website spelled out has seven Dís in a row and then a C unfortunately:

1. Double-Ewe
2. Double-Ewe
3. Double-Ewe
4. Dot
5. Daily
6. Doofus
7. Dot
8. Com

Tomorrow I am going to ask the German People if they want to host my website, so the eight D's will be mine.

Come back so soon