Hatemail

Holy macaroni. My website's devil-may-care attitude and unapologetic tone have made me a few enemies over these months, and many of them are too dumb to realize how dumb it is to argue with me.

Waldo Baldo <Waldo.Baldo@activeware.com/guestbook>
To: RugTimXII@comcast.net
Subject: "U" Bloah
Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2011 8:39 AM

Hey, dork,

I just checked out your website, and boy does it stink! Why don't you save that twenty bucks a year you're wasting on your website to buy yourself some brains!

-Waldo

RugTimXII@comcast.net
To: Waldo.Baldo@activeware.com/guestbook
Subject: Re: Fwd: "U" Bloah
Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2011 8:39 AM

Oh, yeah, and uh, I should care... why?

-Peter

Pepper Gravy <peppergravy@shoe-stores.biz>
To: RugTimXII@comcast.net
Subject: Um, hellllllooo?
Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2011 8:39 PM

Anybody home? What do you even think you're doing?
If you think you're funny, well, you better think again.
And this time, I hope you think the opposite, which is true.
YOUR NOT FUNNY
GIVE UP NOW

RugTimXII@comcast.net
To: peppergravy@shoe-stores.biz
Subject: Fwd: Um, helllloooo?
Date: Sat, 8 Jan 2011 8:39 AM

I never said I was trying to be funny. That's just your opinion. I have an opinion too, Einstein. I'm not even trying to be funny. If you think I was trying to be funny, well, that is your problem, not mine. I don't have a problem. I'm not even mad at you. I'm actually happy-- about how big and dumb of a moron you are.

Oh, and one more thing, I guess you're not very pertinent at linguistical intricacies, but, just for future reference, what you meant to type when you typed "your not funny," was not the present participle "your" but in fact the prepositional phrase "you're." Yeah, you're welcome.

-Peter

Dobey Domb <DobeyDomb@prince-reiebus.org>
To: RugTimXII@comcast.net
Subject: Get off the web
Date: Sat, 18 Jan 2011 8:39 PM

Hey, pal,

My children read your site and now they're a handful of trouble. What's wrong with you? As a parent, I don't know. All I can do is kindly suggest that you remove your harmful website from the web so my children can have their childhoods back.

A Concerned Mother

RugTimXII@comcast.net
To: Dobey Domb <DobeyDomb@prince-reiebus.org>
Subject: RE: Get off the web
Date: Sat, 19 Jan 2011 9:39 PM

Lady, why don't you raise your kids better? Why should I be censored because some half-baked, overprotective, Iowan soccer mom who's too engrossed in the Gameshow Network and the 60-minutes sensationalism segment, and too busy talking to the dog because it's the only thing that pays any attention to her in the house can't find time in her busy schedule of eating Doritos and leaving the newspaper in the driveway to sit the hell down with her kids and tell them that the internet isn't a place for snot-nosed, spoiled, alienated pre-teens with a smart-phone addiction and an incipient case of acne to get into flame wars on the Adult Swim message boards and stumble on the web logs of out-of-touch, recently-bearded, twenty-one-year-old college students who have more time on their hands than jobs in their future?

Peter

So as you can plainly see, the hatemail I've recieved is definitely really funny, and doesn't make me mad or upset me at all. It's just extremely funny and I think it's also totally hilarious. What gave them the idea that I'm trying to be funny? That's so crazy and really funny, and it made me laugh because of how humorous the whole crazy thing is.

Oh, wait.