Who Stole What, With Bonus Time Anomalies

I've tried desperately not to enter into the foray of popular media since our founding on July ???, 2009, but it comes to my attention that noted musician John "The Guzz" Mellencamp stole the tune of the chorus in his song "The Authority Song" from the chorus of "Bruiser," by the Misfits.

"But Peter," you ask, arching an eyebrow and sipping your glass of Beaujolais. Your gaze returns to the crackling fire. "How could Mr. Melon Camp have stolen, in 1984, the tune to a song the Misfits recorded in 2000?

"It is impossible for him to have heard "Bruiser" when he recorded "Authority Song" in 1984, since one can hear and recall only sounds that occured in the past, and "Bruiser" was, in 1984, not a sound that occurred in the past. One cannot steal a tune one has not heard, and hence it is impossible for him to have stolen the tune to "Bruiser."

"I suggest instead that the Misfits stole the tune from him, as it existed in the past when they were recording their song."

Oh, very cogent, but as I look upon the treasures on my mantel, I answer your objection beginning with a modus tollens:

If the Misfits stole the tune to a John Mellencamp song, then the Misfits are lay-moze.
The Misfits are not lay-moze.
Hence, the Misfits did not steal the tune to a John Mellencamp song.

Q.E.D and everything, but you still might be wondering how Mr. Camp could have stolen in 1984 a tune that was not developed until 2000. This apparent anomaly can be explained with a simple supernatural explanation: the Misfits were the victims of retroactive plagiarism, commited by Mr. Camp via some variety of time-wonk.

Besides, you're missing one obvious factor: last time I checked, 2000 is in the past. So you really have no leg left to stand on with your argument about the past and future or whatever.

Now Who's Next

The following premises were true in 1984:

AEE-2, Modus Camestres
P1. All sounds that one can hear are sounds that occurred in the past.
P2. "Bruiser" is not a sound that occurred in the past.
C1. Hence, "Bruiser," is not a sound that one can hear.

P3. All sounds that one can steal are sounds that one can hear.
C1/P4. "Bruiser" is not a sound that one can hear.
C2. Hence, "Bruiser" is not a sound that one can steal.