Vacation Is Over, And So Are You

It sounds like you've all had astonishing vacations.

Stew Foot of Harbor Home wrote, on March 27,

"Sometimes you're taking the test, but sometimes you're the test."


The Gretineaux of Saguenay wrote, on March 28,

"C'est la première conversation j'ai eu en la langue français."
"Vous mentez."
"C'est malaisé à croire, non?"
"Peut-être pas."
"On m'appelle Howell Hallway."
"Mais, est-ce que c'est vrai?"
"Bien sûr, mais non."
Mais Howell Hallway a menti, parce-que son nom a été Howell Hallway, et la français a été sa langue première. Il a menti à la femme avec qui il a parlé parce qu'elle a été une moucharde. Il a disparu dans un couloir.
Il était une fois, elle a eu un regard furtif à trouver Monseiur Hallway coupable de meurtre.
Ils n'ont jamais encore l'autre vu.


Sean Bloughe of Lump City USA wrote, on March 29,

Each state roughly represents the combined national acreage of the listed item. For example, there were 5.5 million acres of sorghum planted in 2010, or 8593.75 square miles. New Jersey occupies 8722 square miles. I was hoping to find annual production of something exciting like cookie cakes listed in square miles, but apparently we don't make anything that's both big and fun.

AK- Folly
CT- Riceª
DE- Peanutsª
AZ,CA,CO,FL,MI,NV,OR,TX,UT,WY- Rangeland / pastureª
IA- Almost the same size as a country that Francisco Hernández de Córdoba founded
KY- Lawns (The Lawn Institute)
MD- Cottonª
MN- Wheatª
MS- Southern pine plantation (forestencyclopedia.net)
MT- Cornª
NH, VT- Developed land (2000 Census)
NJ- Sorghumª
NM- Soybeansª
RI- Square feet of drywall manufactured per year (Drywallrecycle.com)
WA- Onshore Federally owned land in oil and natural gas lease (Hudson Valley Press)
WI- Paved roads (FHA)
WV- Fruit and Vegetables (USDA-ERS)

ªUSDA-NASS


Sneal Couch of Crabs, NV, had this to say in an e-mail dated March 31:

I visited my friend Patrick Gouge in Illinois (state motto: So flat it makes Kansas look like Nepal).

We got into an argument, which ruined my vacation. Patrick said ad hominem arguments are permissable in some cases. The only problem is he smells and is a jerk, so what does he know?

Anyway, we're not friends anymore.


And Frank Bunne Of Dog Breakfast wrote, on April 2,

I met a girl who had six names on her passport. She also had a phone number from a country where they only use six digits, and where there are no cars. We were in love, but she was deported. I've called her, and she says she can never come back.

Until next year!