Squashed Blossoms

I have a tiny philosophy that people should all have little secrets that they don't tell anybody. Not important secrets, just little ones. Not even necessarily things that are traditional material for being a secret, like crushes or embarrassing diaries. Just tiny things that only you know. It's good for the spirit.

I have a nice bible with gold around the edges. When school started I wandered around and picked flowers and squashed them in the bible, and I decided that's what I wouldn't tell anyone. Now it's cold and the flowers are all pretty much gone, so I gave up keeping it to myself. I had others, anyway.

I can't relate to anyone at school so I wrote a Craigslist ad to see if anyone outside of school would share my interest. In the Westchester county "strictly platonic" section, I wrote:

Squashed Blossoms

I've been collecting flowers and squashing them in my bible. I'm not religious, I just have a nice bible. What do you like to do? It's getting a little too cold to go outside and look for flowers (there aren't many left, either), so I have to find something else to do. Do you have any ideas? Do you know the names of the flowers that grow around here?

I got a few responses, all from men. One said the post was weird, one asked why I used a bible even though I'm not religious. Somehow that wasn't very satisfying. I posted something a little more specific on the Brooklyn Craigslist:

Squashed Blossoms

I've been collecting flowers and squashing them in my bible. I'm not religious, I just have a nice bible. What do you like to do? It's getting a little too cold to go outside and look for flowers (there aren't many left, either). Now I have to find something else to do so I'm looking for someone to trade flowers with. Do you have any squashed flowers? I have a P.O. box, if you do too, let's trade.

And got no responses. It sounds a little like a scam, and even if you trusted it, you'd need a bunch of squashed blossoms and a P.O. box, which is too much to ask anybody. So I'm not surprised. I tried to piece together a French translation to post on the Montreal Craigslist, but I lost it.

But seriously, if somebody is reading this, and you want to send flowers (they don't even have to be squashed) send them to

Peter Schranz
Box #1282
735 Anderson Hill Road
Purchase, NY
10577

If you want I can send you some too.

I know internet rule #1 is don't put your address on there, but it's a P.O. box... just please, don't send me a box of pubic hair or anything... I know I'm asking for it, but please...

At the end of the day, though, I feel like I should have just kept it a secret.

But whatever.