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I, Peter Schranz, the Emperor of Humility, did a stately pain-totem decree, and you are reading its inscription. Several portions of mighty totem's colonnade are fallen, namely columns A, F, and G, but the rest of totem will stand for Šons nevertheless due to the Reverse-Ozymandias Principle. Totem comprises nearly six years of my almost exclusively abortive attempts to break into the enormously fortified fastnesses of online speculative fiction magazines. I figured six years of arduous totem construction would rate this page a height of more than three scroll-wheel scrolls but it probably also depends on the user's mouse and the browser's zoom magnification so it ends up being like I always say:

Two or three columns, and many a stone,
Marble and granite, with grass o'ergrown!

Pursuant to the terms of the Daily Doofus's excitingly ongoing legal commitment to a transition from toxin-green to eco-green technology, this post is made from at least 40% recycled material. Dedicated visitors may one day see an even taller totem masquerading as a new post.

"Oh No"