This is a self-portrait that I took on the island I own. I want to thank Ralph Lauren for being so kind as to finance my photography habit with that fragrance, although I don't use it myself because it smells like dolphin curd. The spice melange is my arôme du choix, hence my supernaturally hi-blue eyes.
Considering that this is my online web-log, I thought I should try harder to make myself seem more like who I want you to think I am, without all the foibles and erreurs sillie. So here is a short list of the various strengths that encumber me:
1. I completed over 50% of an art history minor back in my wild university days.
2. I can fit my entire island in my mind?
3. (Think of more after a spaghetti-break)
The truth is there are probably a million things on this site that sound cooler than they are. I'm just your average bloke. I guess there's no winning this web-log rat race: on the one hand, if you indulge in embellishment you just end up making yourself look like a big supermodel, whereas if you tell the truth about your mind you start to lose more traffic than a roadway stalked by automobile immunodeficiency virus, although let's just say recently in that department I don't even need to embellish that the Daily Doofus has been getting over ten hits a day. Now's the best time to hock:
"Tired of short story collections with or without themes that join the stories together? Then you'll go bonkers for Peter Schranz's Astonishing Tales Of The Sea or It Spits You Out. Depending on which collection I mean, you'll never again suffer the disappointment of discovering that the stories therein do or do not contain certain elements that are linked by a theme spelled out explicitly in the title of the collection."
If I may direct your attention to the following Joint Photographic Experts Group image:
You'll notice that three entire used book sellers are willing to sell "Astonishing &c. for ninety nine clams which just goes to show you how much dogeared pages and annotations in the shape of "Foghat Rules" drive up book prices. I mean what's the point of buying new other than wasting negative eighty-eight dollars and being eco-unfriendly.
Now you've all suddenly started to ask me, "But Peter, is any of this stuff true, then?" And to you I respond: does all meaningful information uncovered by a ouija board have to exist already in the mind of whoever is holding the planchette?
Here is a short list of true sentences starting from the very first post on July 19, 2009:
1. "People are attracted to whatever makes them excited and happy." (7/19/09)
2. " The next few are meaningless jumbles of unpleasant animated images." (7/20/09)
3. "I keep getting off topic." (7/21/09)
4. (Write more of them but take a quick break first)